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Story

Try out some alcohol policies at home

29th December 2022 by philcain

Policies and individual choices are normally seen as completely separate, but in reality they merge. So why not ring in the New Year by road-testing some effective alcohol strategies at home?

We all set some rules, or policies, for our homes, for example. Few let outdoor shoes go beyond a certain threshold. Weaponry, road vehicles, fire, smoke and harmful chemicals also typically have their perimeters.

These are not prohibitions. They are regulations. By crossing borders we can have access to all of the things verboten in some places. Out there is a target-shooting, tanker driver who only smokes when scrubbed up, unarmed on the veranda.

The regulatory systems of our private lives often operate on the basis of unwritten policies picked up from parents, partners, and common sense. They offer an easy way to keep a safe, livable and inexpensive environment. 

These policies are typically adopted and applied without any democratic mandate. But we will also, sometimes, decide to set new policies, often through a process of thought, negotiation and compromise.

So why not consider adding evidence-based alcohol policies to the mix. We might take, for instance, government policies reckoned to curb harm at a population level as a starting point: increase the price, and reduce availability and marketing.

A few calculations might allow us to set a minimum unit price. This we might do by identifying products which are below it. Or we might levy a alcohol per unit “tax”, setting aside revenue for household running costs and infrastructure.

Implementation of these might be complicated. Perhaps an easier option would be reducing alcohol availability. We might bar keeping alcohol at home; Or to limit the stockpile; Or not put what we have in the fridge; Or, maybe, not to buy online. 

Limiting home availability would have a knock-on effect. It bumps up the price of alcohol at home, imposing on inhabitants the cost of leaving the house to buy it. This also gives us a chance for second thoughts. 

Reducing marketing exposure is trickier, because alcohol advertising targets us without our consent. But we can reduce it, by putting alcohol brands out of sight at home. We can also filter some online ads. And we can try to avoid alcohol retail.

Harmful levels of drinking are best addressed with the aid of medical advice. But making our own environments less alcohol loaded makes low-risk drinking the easy option. And home drinking is the source of the bulk of alcohol harm.

We all set and live by policies to create environments which are safe and best serve our needs. We need politicians to do this for us in environments we share. ■

Filed Under: Story Tagged With: alcohol

Blocked, ghosted and cancelled, S01E01

3rd September 2022 by philcain

An everyday story of internet folk

Scene: A dimly lit Whatsapp text screen; Cast: Molly (M), Jenny (J)

M: Hi Jenny

J: Hi Moll

M: You’re having a lol, ain’tcha?

J: What lol might that be, Moll?

M: A little bird tells me you’ve been texting Steve behind my back. Or am I wrong?

J: So what if I have? You only went and ghosted him last week.

M: For the record, Jenny, I didn’t ghost him, I cancelled him. And, either way, it doesn’t mean you can just start texting him.

M: Since when?

J: Since now.

[Jenny has blocked this conversation appears on screen]

J: [voice] For fuck’s sake. 

Theme music plays.

Filed Under: Story Tagged With: unreal

Go figure: Alcohol jobs versus dependence

17th August 2022 by philcain

There are maybe 770,000 part-time and full-time jobs connected with alcohol business in the UK, according to an IAS estimate. And there are about 638.000 people who are alcohol dependent, meaning they experience side effects when not inebriated. ■

Filed Under: Story Tagged With: alcohol

Enhance anything by never pushing

12th May 2022 by philcain

Western culture makes a fetish of strenuous effort. Put in lots of effort, we are told, and we can reliably expect cracking results. I, like a lot of people, was brought up to believe it. Media reinforce the idea. But it is not true.

Many of us often work extremely hard and get very limited results in return. What we invariably get, however, is fatigue. Over the long term we often get chronic fatigue. We also increase our chances of injury and becoming jaded.

We also boost the chances we crave relief from the pain and strain we have induced. Enthusiastic efforts to improve our health can lead us to look for relief using alcohol or in other counterproductive ways.

I was brought up to be a firm believer in the try hard ethos. Whether it was memorising irregular foreign verbs or running round a playing field until we puked. It was all quite unpleasant, but rest assured the pain would have a pay off.

There is something to be said for seeing where our limits are and experiencing what happens when we reach them. It is instructive, but constantly pushing our gauges into the red is a flawed long-term strategy.

Real achievements typically emerge from steady, sustainable and enjoyable effort. Bodies strengthen, but they take time. Books, academic papers and brick walls take shape, but not thanks to an afternoon of frantic exertion.

Willing ourselves to regularly hit our pain thresholds can induce endorphins that soothe strain and stress. But over the long term this can backfire when we no longer want to endure discomfort simply for a painkilling payoff.

My own experience was that I became tired of the satisfaction and reward of enduring things as an end in itself. Eventually I found what Chinese philosophy calls wu wei, a slippery idea one might say means “never pushing”.

The idea is to never strain oneself. One should look at ways to sail rather than row to a destination. Rather than giving oneself a pat on the back for labouring, one should focus on technique, reducing effort and enhancing enjoyment.

It is an approach that can be well embodied in some tai chi classes. If you feel any pain or strain you are told to stop moving quite so much. The lesson for an inveterate try-harder is stop trying so hard, progress will come anyway.

I did no more than the tai chi basics, but “never pushing” works with anything. I swam this way for three years. I was never injured, tired or stressed and was able to enjoy every minute. I emerged far stronger and with technique improved. 

The ultra low intensity meant there was no pain or discomfort during or after. This meant there was not the slightest temptation to self-medicate with alcohol or anything else. Swimming itself became a longed-for stress relief.

Making never pushing and enjoyment the key parameters of success make activities themselves the rewarding relaxation it should be.  Well-being not effort is the most reliable basis for progress. ■

Filed Under: Story Tagged With: alcohol

Nine years of trolling settle internet argument

28th April 2022 by philcain

One side of an internet argument looks set to achieve outright victory having “out-trolled” its opponents over nearly a decade, according to a source close to the defeated side.

It is believed to be the first time in internet history that a group of people have been provoked and ridiculed so skillfully that they decided to entirely abandon their opinions.

“I was just tired of being called names by people with hidden identities and agendas, so I decided it was time to call it a day and change my ideas completely,. We were out-trolled,” an insider told Unreal.

The two sides are thought to have been arguing continuously for at least nine years. None of those to whom we spoke could tell us what the argument was originally about. 

“As a group we ran out of ideas, hashtags and memes. Slowly we realised this meant our ideas were invalid. So we got together and, with a few hold-outs, decided to call it a day.”

The defeated side has not yet been named, but internet arguing experts say the other side will be hoping it leads to a domino effect in other issues.

“One of the core principles of the internet is that slagging people off is the most effective way to change their views,” says CapsLock34644, a self-styled internet warrior.

“This just goes to show those wimps who said sitting behind a keyboard calling people names was not going to achieve anything. Who is dumb now?”

The case of some of the names and statements made in this report may have been changed for style reasons. ■

Filed Under: Story Tagged With: unreal

People who lost the lottery this week

7th April 2022 by philcain

A fortunate minority occupies a large share of media attention. Here we restore balance by catching up with some of those to whom lady luck has dealt an entirely predictable hand.

Ted Hurley, 59, a plasterer and home improvement enthusiast from Basingstoke picked the numbers 4, 19, 12, 36 and 41, none of which appeared in the draw this week. As a regular player he has won several small prizes over the 20 years he has played, swearing by the lucky dip. He said, “I’m neither surprised nor disappointed. It is a game of pure chance with 45m players, nearly all of them lose. So I play with the expectation of losing.” 

A trainee nail technician from Runcorn Rachel Barnes, 23, who has run four half marathons, always uses digits derived from her siblings’ birthdays. “I did it since I started playing a few years ago.” One of them, the number three, came up in this week’s draw. “When I saw three had come up, I really thought it might be my lucky week, but then all the other numbers were completely wrong.” She says she will keep playing because, “It is only a matter of time until the other five numbers come up.”

This week’s star lottery loser: An IT technician Maidenhead, 38, who plays five-a-side football, who chose to remain anonymous, was excited to see four of her regular numbers. “I remember I checked when I was on the bus to work.” This would have probably  meant she had won several thousand. But, a moment later, she realised that she had not bought a ticket this week because it rained really hard. She said she was “pretty annoyed” with herself. Asked what she will do now she has lost, “I would have liked to have paid off all my bills and have a holiday. I won’t do that now, not right away.” 

We will bring you more stories of highly-probable outcomes next week. Do, please, contact Unreal if you would like to share the story of a lucky break which did not happen to you. ■ 

Filed Under: Story Tagged With: unreal

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