• Skip to main content

philcain.com

writing, journalism, books, events, recreation

  • Highlights
  • Work
    • Alcohol Review
    • Alcohol Companion
    • Alcohol for Nerds
  • Not work
    • Stories and distractions
    • Vienna Writers’ Exchange
    • Scene City – Parkour for the mind
  • About
    • Connect

Rampaging giants may soon face barking

17th November 2021 by philcain


Fifi Trixibelle

Giants who carry off townspeople or who trample crops can expect to be barked at quite loudly from tomorrow, according to the latest light-touch regulatory scheme.

“We have created a vocal new guardian of the townspeople, empowered to bark at anyone over five-foot-three who might be up to no good,” the king’s town crier roared.

Critics of the scheme, which was proposed by giants, point out that the new regulator, Fifi Trixibelle, is a toy poodle only sixteen inches tall who is fed and watered by the giants.

Fifi’s barking will, however, supporters say, be based on the recommendations of an Independent Complaints Panel which will assess any written reports of marauding in detail.

“This is a cutting edge form of self-regulation, striking the perfect balance between the interests of villagers and giants,” said one of the king’s men, a part-time adviser to giants.

There were 4,535 townspeople carried away by giants and 1,445 acres of land trampled last year, up 20%, according to the Office of Town Statistics. ■

Share this:

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) WhatsApp
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit

Filed Under: Story Tagged With: fiction

Copyright © 2025 · Phil Cain Impressum

Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behaviour or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}