“Hit me with it.”
“In the beginning was the word, and the word…”
There was a cough. John looked up from his reading, wounded.
“Sorry, John, do you mind if I offer some feedback?”
“But I only just started.”
“I know, I know it’s frustrating. I just feel you need to start with more punch.”
“More punch? This is the bible. Does the bible need punch?”
“Trust me, everything needs more punch, especially the bible.”
“Ok, I’ll have to take your word for it.”
“Do that. I’ve had an eternity in this business. I know what I’m talking about. People get bored awfully easily.”
“This editor is a real hard ass,” thought John.
“I know you think I’m a hard ass, John, but I’ll let it go.”
That got John’s attention.
“OK, let’s get back to it. This is the beginning, we know it’s the beginning. What the reader needs is information right between the eyes. Pow!”
“So maybe we should start with, ‘There was the word’?” ventured John.
“How would we know it was the beginning?”
“Er. I don’t know.”
“You tell them John, you are writing this thing..
“There was the word at the beginning.”
“Okay, try again.”
“‘The word’, that was the beginning.”
“Better. Lead the reader into it now.”
“‘The word’, and that was just the beginning’?” John ventured.
“I like it. I like it. It creates a mystery and leads the reader in, hungry. And now what.
“’Tune in next time to find out what happens in the second part of this sentence’?”
“You’re getting the hang of this.” ■